“It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness” – Chinese saying

There is no doubt that there is a glorification of misery in our world today. Many mornings as I walk past the local shop I see the glorification of misery emblazened all over newspapers and magazines. Yesterday one newspaper, which is choosing to attack one well known person, had as its headline “Big Fat Pig“!  I then listen to the radio and every miserable story you can imagine about the latest so called disaster to hit the world, is broadcast in a belief that we are all innocent victims of this miserable world!!!

The good news of course is that no matter what disaster has hit the world, man made or otherwise since Adam and Eve eat the apple, we’re still here! Not only are we still here, we’re still evolving, learning, growing, reproducing, eating, drinking, laughing, celebrating and much more. And I believe there is more love in the world. Not only is there more love but each of us can make sure that by the time we go to sleep tonight there will be even more. So here’s 7 ways to “light a candle in your day”

1. Be Still to Start Your Day – Before getting caught up in the busyness of the day, take 5 minutes to sit and “tune into” your day. Go somewhere in your house, your garden, your locality where you can simply sit and be still for 5 minutes. Realise that what lies before you is like a painters canvass and that you’re being offered a palette to create your painting for the day. Create a masterpiece!

2. Inspire yourself – listen to your favourite music, read your favourite books, watch your favourite movie. Whatever inspires you fill your mind and heart with it, particularly at the beginning of the day.

3. Inspire others - as you go about your day send your blessings/positive feelings towards those you meet – family, friends, strangers and most of all so called “enemies”. In Ireland there is an old saying when you meet someone which says “Dia dhuit” (which means God be with you). When you say it to someone,  that person would then respond by saying to you “Dia is Muire dhuit” (which means God and Mary be with you). How would you like to greet people today?

4. Offer someone a seat – have you ever been on a bus when its busy and given someone your seat? Sometimes we sit and wait, afraid that they may say “no thanks” and we’ll be rejected and sometimes then its too late. But if you ever have given someone a seat, how has it made you feel? Doesn’t it make us feel good? Be generous with people and always remember no matter how “bad” things are perceived to be, we always have something to give to others. Afterall a smile costs nothing.

5. Exercise – exercise as we all know is great! It fills our body with fresh oxygen, it puts roses on our cheeks, it makes us feel fully alive. No matter what your level of fitness find at least 20 minutes in your day to walk, run, swim, play tennis, cycle or whatever. Just do it!

6. Reclaim Your Power to Better Yourself and the World - there is such an emphasis on putting people down much of the time, in particular blaming people for what is wrong in our lives and our world. What if these people we blame are actually the source of our salvation? Who knows maybe everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be in order for us to learn what we need to learn in this lifetime? Once we open ourselves to the possibility that this just might be true, we reconnect with our power to change things for the better. And when we change for the better the world changes for the better.

7. Do what you Love - some say we’re being selfish if we’re off doing what we love. This has to be one of the craziest beliefs in the world! I say it’s far more selfish to do what we hate and feel justified to be miserable because of it. Every day invest time in nourishing what you love. If you love gardening, spend time in your garden. If you love writing, write. If you love music, listen, play, create it! If you love being with your kids, be with them in mind, body and spirit. Whatever you love nourish it. Notice that as you do you connect with that wonderful loving part of yourself and thus are a far more loving person to be with. And as you lay to sleep at night you know there’s more love in the world because of you.

Create Your Masterpiece!

Sean M Kelly

PS: If you’d like to comment on this article simple click “continue reading” below

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Have you ever wondered why so many of us never stick to new years resolutions? Well here’s a couple of reasons

1. Too many resolutions!

We try and change everything at the same time – quit smoking, exercise every day, stop drinking, eat healthy food, get up earlier and whatever else we believe is wrong in our lives! It’s a receipe for failure! And when we dont manage to keep the resolutions we reinforce the behaviour we were trying to stop in the first place.

2. Its pure misery!

We try and change in the same old boring, self denial, self whipping way which again is a receipe for disaster! Even before we’ve started the resolution we often feel miserable thinking about how horrible its going to be!

3. Oh ye of little faith!

We have very little faith in sticking to our new years resolutions because we’ve never succeeded in the past. How many people start a new diet every year, crash out after a couple of weeks and every year actually end up heavier than the year before!!!

If any of the above resonate with you its time for a new simple strategy

1. Focus on one resolution at a time - start exercising more first, then after about 3 weeks (it takes about 3 weeks to form a new habit) focus on something else like eating more healthily or whatever way you wish to improve your life.

2. Replace the old behaviour with one that absolutly excites you – ok there’s no point quitting smoking and just hanging around not knowing what to do with yourself to relax! You MUST replace it with something that is a lot more exciting, enjoyable, life enhancing, brilliant or whatever other positive behaviour you can think of. Every time you think of the behaviour you want to change do what excites you instead and keep doing it until it becomes the new habit that runs in autopilot!

3. Start where success is easy – ok if you’re becoming a healthy non smoker by not smoking anymore focus on today only! Don’t concern yourself with thinking this is it for life!!! How awful!!! None of us know what tomorrow has in store so celebrate you’re new positive behaviour today! Indeed celebrate every success no matter how small. Feel great within yourself. If it’s exercising more start with something simple – walking a few times a week, then running, then swimming or whatever. Celebrate every step of the way.

The bottomline is summed up by E L Thorndikes Law of Reinforcement – “whatever behaviour is reinforced will tend to be repeated” – so keep celebrating the new behaviour you want repeated!

Above all make it FUN! As the following video shows when there’s fun involved we change alot more easily and enjoy the process!

Have Fun!

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We often take ourselves and life so seriously that it seems there’s nothing left to enjoy. Yet sometimes in the simplest  everyday moments of life there is an abundance of joy, laughter and bliss. In 2001 I was in Mostar, Bosnia and Herzegovina and I met a survivor of the war there. She spoke about how hard it was during the siege of Mostar with people being killed all around her and not knowing if you’d be next. Yet she said to me -  “it’s amazing that even in such an environment we were able to find something to laugh about!”

Here’s a video (1 min) that I hope helps lighten your day!

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The universe is always offering us opportunities to get in touch with our better selves but sometimes even in the smallest situations we can become so self-righteous we miss these wonderful opportunities to help create a better day for ourselves and anyone else involved in such a situation. I had such an experience today.

This morning I was in Luxembourg airport returning to Dublin after delivering a course on “Accelerated Learning”. The course went very well and it was a beautiful sunny day in Luxembourg.

I went into a newsagents at the airport and was browsing the magazines. I picked up the “Time” magazine, as one its headlines “It’s a great time for web start-ups” caught my eye. As I browsed the magazine I realized there was little else in it that interested me, so I thought I’d simply “speed read” the web article and not bother buying the magazine. So that’s what I did.

I then took out a pen and was taking down some of the websites mentioned when the lady of the shop came over. She started telling me in French “you’re not allowed to read and take notes from magazines, you must buy them!” That is when my head immediately went up my ass and I in a retaliatory tone told her “you might understand if you read the magazine yourself! Of course what I really meant was “up yours b.tch!”

After a bit of harassment she went back to the cash desk and I, with my head firmly up my ass followed her. I let my ass speak as I told her in my best “pompous” tone – “I’m never buying in this shop again. I’ve often been here and bought before. I won’t be buying here again!” (as if she really gave a sh.t).

So off I went finding it very difficult to walk as my head was firmly rammed up my ass! All sorts of thoughts started coming into my head – “I’ll show her! I’ll start a website and tell everyone about this terrible shop! or I’ll get onto some national radio show and tell everyone in Ireland how badly I was treated!” Oh what I was going to do!!!

I sat down and had a cup of tea to try and ease my head out of my ass, even a little bit because it was really getting uncomfortable! At that point I found a piece from Opening Doors Within for 5 July 2003 by Eileen Caddy that I had with me – it read “Your thoughts towards abundance determine whether all your needs are met or not… When you think as a pauper, you are a pauper, for you deprive yourself of all the good things in life which are yours when you readjust your thinking and attitude towards them. Start right now thinking prosperity”

So what was I thinking in the shop? I admitted to myself I was thinking like a “pauper“. As soon as I admitted that my head began to come down a little from up my ass!

As I sat drinking my tea I reflected on the fact that there was going to be a “bad feeling” left here in Luxembourg between myself and this lady. I heard the echoes of what Dr Wayne Dyer often recommends as a solution to such situations - “have I got the strength to be kind and let go of the need to be right?”

Even with this I still resisted by thinking “ah sure what the hell, I was right????” With that I felt a sharp pain up my rear end as my head catapulted further up my ass!

With all my talk of peace, etc could I apologise to this lady and let go of the need to be right? Peace! Ah sure this has nothing to do with peace! On the contrary this has everything to do with creating a world in which global peace and harmony is realized. It always starts with us facing the truth about ourselves and taking the appropriate action to clear the daily issues that arise before they gather egotistical momentum and result in broken relationships, destroyed businesses, addictions, illnesses and even warfare! Of course our ego would have us deny that these small daily confrontational issues have anything to do with such larger global issues, as this means we can continue to be our self-righteous selves and blame everyone else for what’s wrong in the world!

So I told myself “Sean instead of leaving here with this negative issue let’s do the opposite of what my ego was telling me to do and indeed what I really felt like doing”. So what was the opposite?

I went to another shop and bought a box of lindt chocolates. I then went to the shop where the incident happened. I picked up the time magazine I had been reading. I approached the pay desk and I could see the lady wondering what I was up to? (I thought to myself this is actually going to really surprise her and I hope it makes her day!)

She scanned the Time magazine in. As I gave her the money she looked at me directly in the eyes as if to say “so you realized the error of your ways … did you!”. I was secretly really looking forward to what I was going to do next.

I put my hand in my bag, took out the box of lindt chocolates, looked at the lady and said “Pour toi” (for you). Immediately a huge smile enveloped her face, she put her hand straight out to shake mine saying “Merci, Merci!” (thank you thank you). We looked at each other and I said “Merci et Pardon” (thank you and sorry). It really was a wonderful moment and felt fantastic! And what made it even better was the fact that my head was really flying down my ass!

As I left to board my flight, I passed the shop again and she gave me a big joyful wave. With that I felt huge relief as my head finally slide totally out from up my ass. In fact I felt fantastic – I was now leaving with a “joyful” feeling between two people rather than a “bad” feeling.

If you find yourself in a similar situation this week, have a go at having the strength to be kind and let go of the egotistical need to be right! It’s amazing how freeing it feels and it does wonders for your ass!

Carpe Diem!

Learn to create a more fulfilling and joyful life on the Dare to Dream online course. Next one begins in June 2010. See video below and enter your name and email to be on the early notification email list.

Sean M Kelly

Sean M Kelly is an international inspirational speaker, trainer, musician and author. He lectures and trains on many areas of human potential development including how to use more your amazing mind, memory, creativity and innovation, speed reading, accelerated learning, stress management, yoga, relaxation and meditation, conflict management, communicate with confidence, the power of positive thinking and of course Dare to Dream!

He has delivered training and inspirational speeches for many organisations including Pfizer, JP Morgan, Microsoft, Irish Life, Bank of Ireland, Allied Irish Bank, the Irish Management Institute, Fedelity Investments, RTE and many others. If you’d like to discuss how Sean can help your organisation use a lot more of your unused minds potential and turn adversity adversity into your greatest learning opportunity, simply send an email to info@seanmkelly.com with a name and contact phone number and we will delighted to contact you.

www.seanMkelly.com

In 1986 just after I graduated with an honours degree in Mathematics and Physics, I thought I’d walk into a job, afterall I had a degree!!! Well one year later I was still looking for a job and collecting the dole. Every day I received many “cherrio” (i.e. “we regret …”) letters from companies. They were all looking for experience and were unwilling to give me a chance. It was very disheartening. Some days I simply felt like doing nothing but most days thankfully I’d sit at a typewriter (do you remember them?) and apply for jobs.  However I decided to always believe that one day I will go to the front door and pick up a letter which would offer me a job! Well after months and months and months that letter did arrive. I remember the moment so clearly. My Father picked up the letter and brought it up to me in my bedroom. I opened it and “YES” it was a job offer!

Not only was it a job offer it was an EXCELLENT JOB OFFER! It was with an American Company called Sterling Software who were going to train me in writing COBOL computer language and then place me in Europe or America as a consultant. It was a fantastic job and a great opportunity to catch up on the year I’d just spent looking for one!

Well thirty of us started the job at the time and our boss was a big American from Texas who drove a Ford Bronco and wore cowboy boots. He was a real positive guy which I really enjoyed. I really couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get such a job and to be on my way to the US in a few weeks. I even remember saying goodbye to my girlfriend at the time (now my wife).

Then one day after only been there for a few weeks my big American boss in his cowboy boots marched in at 9am and told us that “due to a disagreement over the payment of tax they would be pulling out of Ireland” and as a consequence we were all being let go!

You can imagine how I and the twenty nine others, some who had mortgages to pay and families to rear, felt. I was distraught! We responded in the good old traditional Irish fashion, we went to the pub!!!

However that night I met a friend of my Fathers who had been very encouraging to me when I was looking for a job. When I told him what happened he said “Sean its not what happens to you in life thats the most important thing but what you do in response to what happens!”

Of course these were very wise words but when we’re feeling low or in a state of shock its challenging to take them on board. However on reflection I did and with reluctance a few weeks later I took the boat to England with the aim of getting the experience necessary to get a job back in Ireland in a few years.

So what can you do if you lose your job:

1. DECIDE to RISE TO THE CHALLENGE: As stated above, its your response above all else to the situation that matters most. Are you going to play victim or are you going to rise to the challenge? The challenge may be tough and you may need to dig really deep within yourself but if you are alive you can rise up and overcome that challenge. Not only that, it can be the very platform from which your life really soars to a far more fulfilling, exciting and properous level. So what do you need to do – DECIDE that you will RISE TO THE CHALLENGE and REACH YOUR SUMMIT!

2. DO WHAT YOU CAN TODAY: Your whole future is before you and so is everyone elses. If theres one way to feel overwhelmed its to to think we can control it! Can we control it? Can we predict it? Can we organise it exactly the way we want it to be? Plain and simple … NO! Nobody controls the future and anyone who thinks they can, should read the obituaries about how many people die suddendly every day. So what can we do? We can live for today – do what we can, with what we have, where we are TODAY! Even if your finances are struggling ask yourself – “Will I surive today?” and chances are you will. In fact at some time in the future you may look back on the challenges you face today and say “that was really a blessing in disguise!” So all we need to do is focus our energies on doing what we can today.

3. INCREASE YOUR CASHFLOW - ask yourself what can I do today to improve the cashflow? Its very important to keep some cashflow coming in no matter what you have to do (as long as its a good thing of course). Not only is cashflow important in our everyday life but also from a positive energetic point of view, its like Issac Newton told us in his first law of motion  “things at rest tend to stay at rest and things in motion tend to stay in motion” So aim to bring in some cashflow no matter how small. What hobbies have you got that you could earn an income from? Is there any parttime work you can do? Is there any car boot sales (garage sales) coming up where you could sell something? Is there anyone you know looking for some help you could pay you? Absolutely research the greatest information revolution in human history that is happening right now on the internet. Get a little notebook and carry it around with you. At the front of it write down the question – “How can I increase my cashflow?” Whenever you think of something write it down. Look at your growing list and take action to make the more practical ideas. If one doesent work do another one. When one begins to work focus more on it and ask yourself how can I expand this idea and perhaps even turn it into a business? (Also remember to pay yourself first – see article I wrote on this a number of months back)

4. PAY YOURSELF FIRST AND GROW YOUR MONEY – click here to read previous article I wrote

5. PAY YOUR BILLS AND TALK TO CREDITORS - if your bills are mounting up and you dont know what to do here’s a few ideas.

• Prioritise them – do what you can to pay the most important ones e.g. your mortgage.
• Contact your creditors – if you’re finding it difficult to pay some bills contact your creditors and let them know. Can you pay even a small bit? Remember every bit you pay helps to clear the bill or debt. Creditors in the main are very understanding and appreciate you contacting them and they really dont like to be ignored. And also dont be afraid to stand up to them if necessary, for example if they start threatening you with nasty letters, etc, tell them you dont appreciate threatening letters, that there’s enough trouble in the world without these letters adding to it! If they start warning you about negative credit rating tell them sure you’ll be in good company with most of the worlds banks!
• Focus on your progress – no matter how small your progress is, keep your heart and mind centered on it. This will really help you feel better and if you feel good you will be able to manage things better. If you have a day of despair go out for a walk, take some time out and then “get back on your horse” and go again.

6. Have a Laugh! Well in the days of old when we didn’t have computers, the comedian Jerry Lewis was pretty amazing on a typewriter (see video below just over 2 mins).

Enjoy and Good Luck!

Sean

www.seanMkelly.com

PS: The Dare to Dream 12 week course to inspire you and give you practical ways of manifesting your dreams begins tonight Tuesday 3rd March 2009 in Milltown Park, Dublin, Ireland. Click here for more details.

There’s power in THINKING BIG, this video let’s you know how and what are some of the concerns when waiting for results! 

InJoy!

SeánM