7 Ways to Help Your Childs Self Esteem

by inspire on October 18, 2010

Photo by Michelle Meiklejohn freedigitalphotos.net

Is there anything as sad as seeing a child whose light has gone out or who has low self esteem? Well there’s one thing that comes close and that’s to see an adult whose light has gone out.

So how can we help self esteem and let the light shine?

As adults, whether we are parents or not, I believe that we hold a massive responsibility to ensure that the “light” of the next generation, our children,  is always allowed to shine brightly, so bright in fact that it helps keep us adults awake!

How many childrens lights have been put out in the “old days” by beliefs like “a child should be seen and not heard” and by the corporal punishment that followed when a child was “heard”?

I heard about an incident recently where some young kids (ages 13/14) were coming home from school on a train and were a bit exuberant, lets say. I actually saw pictures of them jumping around and to me they looked “fully alive“,  living totally in the moment and absolutely delighted to be in each others company. (They were also not damaging anything and not doing harm to anyone).

Now grant it, we all must have respect for other peoples property and all that but when kids have been sitting at a desk learning for hours in school, shouldn’t they be allowed to let their hair down and enjoy themselves, particularly when all they’re doing is getting “high on life“, rather than some other illegal stimulate. that’s sold to them by unscrupulous adults and has the potential to destroy their lives!

Not every one, for whatever reason appreciated the kids behaviour and one passenger on the train from the next carriage phoned the kids school, gave them an ear full with his complaints and referred to the kids as “thugs”!

Now here was an adult who possibly had his own light put out many years ago,  by some other older person before him who believed “kids should be seen and not heard”. And here he was trying to impose this self same misery, one that has collectively brought immense misery to millions of people in the world today, onto the next generation.

Perhaps there was something going on for this man that made him act this way, I dont know. However when these types of experiences happen for us all, wouldn’t it be great if we could choose to see it as a reminder to wake up and do whatever it takes to feel “fully alive” rather than be what the nobel prize winning poet William Butler Yeats described as “a tattered coat upon a stick.”

Photo by Renjith Krishnan freedigitalphotos.netIs there any one amongst us that would not wish our children to be happy and full of life?  Would we prefer to first dampen their zest for life with our outdated limited beliefs and then extinguish it alltogether by imposing sanctions on displaying a “zest for life“. For the sake of the world, I really hope not!

What can we do to help keep childrens lights to keep shinning? Well here’s some of my own thoughts. If you’ve any you’d like to share please do so in the comments below, you never know who’s light you will help to keep shinning.

Anyway here’s my own thoughts:

1. Do whatever it takes to Keep Your Own Light Shinning - do what you love, do what excites you, follow your dreams, give to worthy causes, teach the next generation what you are passionate about and help guide them on their way but do not decide which way you think they should go!

2. Decide that every time a child meets you they will be uplifted by the experience - tell them how great they are, how special they are, how much you’ve seen them improve at what’s important for them. For example if they play sport tell them how much they are improving even if its only a small bit of progress. Tell them they’ve a great contribution to make to the world. Imagine how much better our world would be if all of us adults decided to uplift every child we meet. Just imagine!

3. Educate them about a Spiritual side of life. Whatever religious or non religious beliefs you have, share what has served you well with your children, not so they will follow what you’ve done but that it will offer a foundation for them to leap from and help create a better world for all.

4. Give them Time – all of us have limited time. When we give our time we give something we will never get back. At an implicit level when we enjoy time with our children we are letting them know how important they are to us and this in turn greatly raises their self esteem and feeling of self worth.

5. Help them enjoy and realise the importance of technological down time – this is a new big challenge for our world today. Technology,  we must remember is a great tool but a very poor master! None of us need to be accessible 24/7 via mobile phones, facebook and whatever else. We need to have times every day when we shut it off completely and simply “be”. Encourage children to do this by doing it yourself. Switch off!

6. Love Children totally unconditionally! We cannot love our children too much. No matter what they do, no matter what mistakes they make let them KNOW they’re Loved by you ALWAYS and FOREVER!

7. Let Children Be Themselves - who are we as adults to think we know all the answers about how children should and must behave – in truth We Don’t Know! After all, do we adults still believe in what previous generations taught us? If we did the world would still be flat and we’d probably have had a nuclear war by now! So let the next generation be themselves. Let them decide what makes their hearts sing and let’s enjoy the show!

Let their Light Shine!

Sean M Kelly

PS: Would you Like to Learn How to Follow Your Own Dreams in a harmonious and exciting way?

The Next Dare to Dream – 9 Spiritual Lessons for Manifesting Your Dreams will be starting shortly.

For more details click here


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